Healthy Pleasures: Rewards to Reach For!

We all need ways to unwind after a tough day and be kind to ourselves when we feel we deserve to be rewarded.  One problem with many ‘stress reduction’ activities though is that they can be difficult to think of when you’re actually feeling stressed.   Meanwhile, it is easy to grab sweet, salty, and rich comfort foods, cigarettes, or other drugs of choice when life gets frustrating and you need a fast ‘treat’.

As a personal fitness trainer, I see my clients get caught in a cycle where they are ‘rewarding’ themselves during difficult times with too much food or alcohol that they later regret.
Their goal is to help themselves relax and feel better, but soon after they indulge they are filled with tension and regret.

I want to be clear that it is not necessarily “wrong” to choose rich foods or your favorite vice when you want to relax, it is just nice to have a wider range of options, including some with fewer consequences.

The most successful way I have found to help people pamper themselves skillfully is to have them create a “Healthy Pleasures” list.  Here is how it works:

On a piece of paper or with your computer put together a list or chart with the following categories:

Healthy Pleasures
Time needed:
5-15 minutes
1-2 hours
All Day
A Weekend

Money:
Free
Under $25
$100 or more

Companionship:
Alone
With Friends or Family
With a Romantic Partner
In a Group Environment

This list is very personalized since everyone has different favorite activities.  If you are feeling stuck for ideas, ask someone who knows you well to remind you of which activities they have seen you enjoy.   If you read or hear about an event or location that sounds fun to you, include it on your list!  The idea is to fill in a wide range of wonderful ‘treat’ options so that during times when you are not thinking as clearly these suggestions will be available.

Here are just some examples, but what YOU most enjoy is specific to you.

Healthy Pleasures
Time needed:
5-15 minutes
A fast walk around the block; a quick head and shoulder massage; watching a fun video clip on YouTube; calling a friend to rant about whatever is bothering you.

1-3 hours
Going to the movies or a sports event; taking a calming bath; playing some video games; getting a manicure; going to a favorite restaurant.

All Day
Get in your car and just go out exploring; visiting a full service spa; going for a hike or day at the beach with a picnic.

A Weekend
A retreat, workshop or training that interests you; relax at home all day without worry about a ‘to-do’ list; try out a new adventurous sport or cool location.

Money:
Free
Under $25
$100 or more

Companionship:
Alone
With Friends or Family
With a Romantic Partner
In a Group Environment (like a concert, religious gathering, party or on-line community)

These are just a few sample ideas to show how a Healthy Pleasures list can get started.  When a new idea comes around include it!   It is also great to take notes about which experiences were especially fun and remember to consider them next time you want a treat you can feel good about before, during, and after.

Note:  While I have not mentioned specifically sensual/sexual activities in the examples provided here, your personal “Healthy Pleasures” list can include whichever ones you prefer and can accomplish safely.